Psalm 118

     My favorite Psalm in the Bible is Psalm 118. This Psalm chronicles a journey that all humans go through. While we may not be surrounded by bloodthirsty armies we can relate those armies, instead, to the challenges we face each day. Lately, my bloodthirsty army is Anxiety. It joined forces with Depression and they have been pushing at me hard from all sides. I often turn to this Psalm; it is a battle song for the war weary soul. I love that it starts out with praise and ends with praise but my favorite verses are 13 & 14:

I was pushed back and about to fall,

but the Lord helped me.

The Lord is my strength and my song;

He has become my salvation.

     There is something about that, about God being my song, that resonates with me. This Psalm helped bring me back to God.  If you've never read it, or haven't in a while, I would encourage you to visit this Psalm again. I believe you will find that it speaks to you as well.

***

     So who am I and what is this blog all about? 

     I'm Susan and, I'm sorry to say, this blog will be a journey through my brain as I read the Bible. You may want to contact your travel agent, have them book you on a different train. This one may wreck from time to time - you've been warned. I am a divorced mother of two with a love of sci-fi (I have a favorite Captain, Doctor and always side Predator), travel junkie and map hoarder, I include chocolate in my list of blessings, and I believe the book is always ALWAYS better than the movie. In fact, I probably won't watch the movie. I can't cook, either. This is a source of some amusement for those that know me and I have absolutely no idea why. I have Lupus. My eldest child has Lissencephaly and I have cared for her for twenty beautiful, difficult years. My youngest is a nerd with a love of animals that often turns our lives into a weekly dramedy. He also prefers Kirk to Picard so I'm wondering if there was a mix-up at the hospital - I can only hope time and maturity will convince him he is sooo wrong. He is also attending RCIA and is looking forward to his baptism at Easter. There's tons more but if I post with any frequency and you find it interesting enough to read, then you'll get to know me better. Again, you've been warned.

Why have I started this blog?

     As an outlet. A wall to throw ideas on, see if they stick. To appease a few friends that have been pestering me to start a blog. To reach out beyond the four walls on my existence. I have no transportation and no nursing care for my daughter so I am, basically, home bound. I see people very rarely, a few times a month for doctor appointments, the weekly shop, that sort of thing. My friends all live too far away to visit. About a year ago the walls started closing in on me. I papered my bedroom with maps, hoping all those roads would give me a little breathing room. And it helped, for a while. But the depression and anxiety have been building and I've been in the darkness for so long I'm starting to make friends with that voice. If you've been there, you know the voice I'm talking about. It never says anything good, or true, but it sure is convincing. I need to do something or the voice will be the last thing I hear. So here we are, a blog. The beginning of a journey. There's no smoking but the dining car always has chocolate. Course laid in. Engage.